Dating is awkward enough when someone approaches you in a bar, has no idea what to say, and you both awkwardly try to figure out if this is just a too-drunk Friday conversation, or if this person could be a legitimate human on say, a Tuesday night. It's awful. You might miss it, but just put yourself back there for a second! Anyway, we've now - thanks to technology - extended this horrible aspect of life to our couches, cars, and workplaces. Communicating and flirting via technology adds a whole new level to the dating scene...
I think technology truly gives us a “shield.” I realized early on in my Tinder days that the worst that could come of a match is an awkward conversation...okay, there are horror stories, but you have to really give out a lot of information for such things to happen to you. I don’t have any personal information attached to my profile, and I’m not quick to give that out; however, that “worst case scenario” (the awkward conversation) is also such a silver lining, because I will swipe right on someone and figure that the worst I’ll have to do is unmatch them. Stepping beyond a match, though, all Tinder conversations are started pretty awkwardly, and if you’re lucky enough that you find something in common and keep talking, whether it’s Tinder-messaging or texting, technology makes us feel invincible.
You can say anything - they can’t see you, after all! On the flip side, that can give you this sense that in two weeks you know someone much better than you actually can. We can all sound cute, quirky, and relaxed as we edit and re-edit what we send, but in reality, without that first date (and subsequent dates if you’re lucky), you don’t know Jack. Also, can I take a second here? We all know your phone is attached to you like an umbilical cord. Don’t ignore me. We both know you’re on Facebook, crushin’ candy, and screening your mom’s calls, but ENOUGH with the mind games. It’s not 1998. I don’t think the “wait three days to call” rule applies when texting is involved.
I hate starting conversations on this damn app...I mean what does one actually say? In person, people usually say hello, hi, and introduce themselves. On Tinder, you already know my name, where I work, and what my hobbies are, so where do I start? I’ve tried the nerdy pickup lines, I’ve taken interest in hobbies, I even once listened to someone tell me about their “clean living” of not eating anything other than organic food, and for anyone that knows me, that’s kind of a big deal. Also, Martha & Mere, you two girls calm down on the “Why haven’t you texted me or messaged me back.” People have jobs and lives outside of Tinder. I absolutely hate the message feature on Tinder. I would rather just text you than having to open up the app and waste data. One thing I am really glad that Tinder got rid of is the “last active ___ minutes ago” feature.
When someone doesn’t have an iPhone and/or doesn’t have the “read” function on so you can’t tell when/if they read your message. Oh, and always knowing everyone everywhere ALWAYS has their phone on so they got your message and/or call and is just being an ASSHOLE. Whoa, sorry. Strong words. All the feelings. I’m also struggling with guys who put off getting off together or grabbing a drink or coffee. Let’s just meet up, hang out for a bit, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, and we won’t have wasted weeks in digital communication.